Going through an old notebook, searching for notes on a screenplay I started eons ago, I came across a page of sketch premises I came up with...clearly while drunk and/or drunk. I bring them to you, in all their amazing glory, with some of the stories that may have inspired them. NOTE: I am typing these EXACTLY AS THEY APPEAR ON THE PAGE. And frankly, they look worse on me when typed.
-Journey ends for Journey when Neil Schon dies on pilgrimmage in Egypt; remembered as a "Foreigner"
-Unlikely Porno Set-Ups (Senate Sub-Committee, janitor and drunk girl, cable guy and TV set)
-White Castle Vs. Burger King debate leads to bloody carnage
-Golden Ghouls - trio of retired ghosts toss zingers; eat cheesecake (NOTE: Honestly, if no one has done this yet, they should. This is an idea I had for ages. I believe it's inspired by the John Ritter vehicle "Stay Tuned.")
-Pirate Blackbeard slaughters entire crew; spares man with exquisite beard
-Man robs Thomas Kinkade gallery; Public rejoices (NOTE: This was way before it turned out Tommy K was a giant ass-raisin and shoddy businessman. If I had to date this list, I'd say 2005 or so. That said, I hate Kinkade and his lit up BS cabins.)
-Hitler returns as giant robot; Power Rangers baffled by bad robotic combover
-Norman Rockwell the painter and Rockwell the washed up musician trade bodies; "Norman Rockwell" becomes listless corpse. "Rockwell" rises from grave and paints sequel to "Somebody's Watching Me." (NOTE: Terrible sketch. Awesome if it happened.)
-Original Planeteers reunite minus wussy "Heart" dude and summon Captain Planet, who promptly dies due to lack of actual beating heart (NOTE: I may still do this some day.)
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