World, you can keep your Seagals, your Lundgrens, your Chans and Li's. When I want my dose of martial arts mayhem, I turn to the JCVD. He's the best there is. When was the last time you saw Jackie Chan jump off a motorcyle, turn into a giant stuntman, flip over a van, change back, land on two feet and blow up a speeding van like Van Damme did in "Hard Target?"
Didn't think so.
When was the last time Steven Seagal threw on the tightest blue spandex pants in existence, gave us a look at a hot, yogagasming chick and then busted a splits so wide my groin had night terrors for weeks like Van Damme does here?
Never happened.
And when was the last time Dolph Lundgren had to die in Vietnam, get reanimated 20 years later and turn into a UniSol, only to find out his former partner played by Dolph Lundgren is going crazy, then has to cool down constantly like Van Damme cooled down in "Universal Soldier?"
Have I made my point yet?
The point is, Jean-Claude Van Damme is the ass kickingest of ass kickers. The face punchingest of face punchers. The splittiest of splitters. Plus, dude played himself and his twin brother separated at birth and raised thousands of miles apart from one another and they still have their native Brussels accent despite the fact that their parents were British. ACTING!
Like to see you fight yourself Jet Li!
Any martial artist with a little flexibility or a ponytail can make a movie. But only Jean-Claude can rock an actual performance like he did in "JCVD." Seriously, it's amazing when he flexes his Acting Muscles From Brussels. Check it.
Suck it Stalloneneggerlichanleeyunfatlundseagalnelsonreilly. Suck it.
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